# shy or...? (long fin rams)



## teemee (Aug 29, 2009)

Hi,
I have a pair of long fin rams. The female is pretty much permanently in one of the plants. everytime she tries to come out, the male shoos her away, and she goes back into the plants... doesn't appear to be any sort of nesting behaviour... could something be wrong? is she just shy?
help?!
thanks!


----------



## AquariAM (Jan 28, 2010)

You either have bad water conditions causing stress- the male becomes aggressive, the female passive, a parasite, or, and this is most likely, the female is just ugly. 

We can't really tell what fish find attractive. We try to pick what we think is a nice female but that doesn't mean your male fish, or vice versa, will agree.

I've rarely had a male cichlid agree with my 'choice' of mate. I gave up on that route years ago and just buy groups and allow pairs to choose eachother .


----------



## teemee (Aug 29, 2009)

AquariAM said:


> You either have bad water conditions causing stress- the male becomes aggressive, the female passive, a parasite, or, and this is most likely, the female is just ugly.
> 
> We can't really tell what fish find attractive. We try to pick what we think is a nice female but that doesn't mean your male fish, or vice versa, will agree.
> 
> I've rarely had a male cichlid agree with my 'choice' of mate. I gave up on that route years ago and just buy groups and allow pairs to choose eachother .


LOL thanks... I think!
Water parameters are fine, and i think she is quite pretty. i guess he doesn't have good taste!
In terms of parasites - i hope not, but how do i check?
have other rams/apistos in the tank, and everyone else is fine...
i think i will separate her for a while - maybe distance will make the heart grow fonder?!


----------



## AquariAM (Jan 28, 2010)

teemee said:


> LOL thanks... I think!
> Water parameters are fine, and i think she is quite pretty. i guess he doesn't have good taste!
> In terms of parasites - i hope not, but how do i check?
> have other rams/apistos in the tank, and everyone else is fine...
> i think i will separate her for a while - maybe distance will make the heart grow fonder?!


 She's still going to be unattractive in April 

Get him a different girlfriend, or 3, let him pick one.

If you have other fish of similar morphology showing no symptoms of anything you just have ugly girlfrienditis, and it's easily curable.

I've seen female bettas choose $3 longfin mass produced males over $40 plakatt show males. I've seen a female betta choose a freakin female bolivian ram over a male betta. We 
definitely don't have the same taste in fish... as fish


----------



## dl88dl (Mar 8, 2010)

AquariAM said:


> She's still going to be unattractive in April
> 
> Get him a different girlfriend, or 3, let him pick one.
> 
> I agree, get 3 or more females and let him pick unless he only likes males ...LOL


----------



## Cory (May 2, 2008)

Are you sure you have a male and a female and not two of the same sex that are competing for territory?


----------



## AquariAM (Jan 28, 2010)

Cory said:


> Are you sure you have a male and a female and not two of the same sex that are competing for territory?


Doesn't make sense that one would be permanently submissive like that if they're of similar size. It would at least try to put up a fight. My money is on no mutual fishtraction.

*dl88dl*_

agree, get 3 or more females and let him pick unless he only likes males ...LOL_

It does happen from time to time. I had a female betta splendens that only liked females. And tried to mate with them.


----------



## teemee (Aug 29, 2009)

*ram*

hi,
well, thanks for the advice and suggestions.
turns out she has what seems to be popeye, which i didn't notice because she was always hiding with her bad eye to the wall. although i'm beginning to think its not popeye, and could be a gas embolism or injury, because have been treating her for 6 days (3 with maracyn 2 with zero effect, and the last 3 with melafix),which has her free swimming and eating again. but the eye still looks terrible (will try to take a photo tomorrow). also have tested the water now, and only the nitrites were just a little bit off, but now okay with a few water changes.
but because he was only really bothering her of late, maybe he had a case of 'get'er while she's down'. either way, she is in a hospital tank for now, so no one is giving her a hard time anymore.
so, any more advice??
thanks!!!


----------



## AquariAM (Jan 28, 2010)

teemee said:


> hi,
> well, thanks for the advice and suggestions.
> turns out she has what seems to be popeye, which i didn't notice because she was always hiding with her bad eye to the wall. although i'm beginning to think its not popeye, and could be a gas embolism or injury, because have been treating her for 6 days (3 with maracyn 2 with zero effect, and the last 3 with melafix),which has her free swimming and eating again. but the eye still looks terrible (will try to take a photo tomorrow). also have tested the water now, and only the nitrites were just a little bit off, but now okay with a few water changes.
> but because he was only really bothering her of late, maybe he had a case of 'get'er while she's down'. either way, she is in a hospital tank for now, so no one is giving her a hard time anymore.
> ...


Get the picture, print it, and take it to Harold at Menagerie. He'll be able to tell you what it is with certainty and you can medicate with confidence.

Nitrite is never a bit off. To have any is bad- especially with fragile animals like blue rams. I wonder if the three are interconnected- aggression, nitrite, popeye. Anything else weird going on? Weird smells? Dead fish somewhere?


----------



## Cory (May 2, 2008)

> Doesn't make sense that one would be permanently submissive like that if they're of similar size. It would at least try to put up a fight. My money is on no mutual fishtraction.


Not in my experience. Lots of my cichlids have very clearly defined hierarchies including my rams. Males aren't in a perpetual state of challenging the leader. It does happen occasionally, but it is not the norm.


----------

