# Meeting online member safety



## Modo (Oct 9, 2012)

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this. Please feel free to move this thread to the appropriate place.

With the recent news that a man was murdered meeting someone from an online post (presumably over a truck), just want to ask if that changes anyone's mind about meeting someone or going into their homes to complete a transaction. Does that turn more people to visit a store instead of buying from people online. I know we're all fish loving peaceful people here, I'm not too worry about most people from here. Everyone seems to know each other very well.

If anyone like to share any safety tips or experience (without naming names), I think that may help everyone to learn something from this tragedy.


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## dc_addict (Mar 14, 2013)

I feel bad for Kijiji especially given the press has falsely stated this was in response to his Kijiji posting. I would like to say it is very unfortunate what happened to this man, and I cant begin to imagine how his family will deal with this. In regards to changing my behavior because of this, no way, how is meeting someone online for a posting any different then meeting someone on the street, or from an Autotrader magazine, from a phone number written on your cars window or any other method of sales. Bad things happen to good people, but fortunately not that often in our society, if you let something like this change how you live your life you will always be in fear.

http://kijijiblog.ca/online-safety/

We confirmed to the police that the ad posted by Mr. Bosma on Kijiji did not feature personal contact information, nor did it receive any replies, which determines the incident did not occur as result of his ad posting on Kijiji.


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## Fishfur (Mar 4, 2012)

So far I've been fortunate, I've met some nice people through GTAA, and thus far, have had no problems with anyone being other than they said they were. I hope it's always that way. Kijiji is a useful resource, but you have to use common sense. 

I've sold 3 vehicles privately, with success. None recently, but I have gone on test drives with the prospective buyers, no issues ever arose. 

Police have apparently said Mr.Bosma was, for some reason, targeted. I feel so badly for the family and friends, but you're right, you cannot constantly live in fear.


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## loonie (Mar 29, 2008)

I only know of one case, whereby someone came to the house to buy fish and the guy took the bag of fish and run off. The owner gave chase and was stab on his hands. The person is also a GTA member but will not mention name.
However, personally I am not keen to sell online, I rather sell it to LFS unless I know the person.


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## GAT (Oct 8, 2011)

So far, I've had good experience as well. However, I wouldn't feel bad if someone said they are comfortable selling me stuff at a store or a mall.

We are all strangers but I like to think a fellow hobbyists wouldn't screw another one.


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## coldmantis (Apr 5, 2010)

I been letting people in my house for a few years now, my neighbour asked me if I was selling weed because people would leave my house with bags of green stuff  My worst experience in all these years is this couple came with their kid, he must of be at least 13 years old. He ran around my house and went into every room like it was his house and his parents didn't really try to stop him. When he left I looked around to see if anything was missing. Hours later I realized that he turned up all my needle valves on the co2 tank to a tornado speed. fish were dead... but only on one tank


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## LTPGuy (Aug 8, 2012)

Here's my 2cents...

I think this may be the first incident of its kind out of how many million or billion of transactions already have taken place.

Being fearful and paranoid is not the way to move forward from this incident.

We don't know exactly what has transpired, but this can happen anywhere to anyone, by any other means.

With that said, we should all practice common sense. Someone tells me your money or your life, well, the answer is pretty straightforward.

If you don't have a choice, well, that's a different problem altogether and is not related to the question raised here.

For Kijiji or similar, I would more likely meet someone in a public place with lots of people. This is often done anyhow.

For GTAA, the feedback score is actually quite useful in the sense that they give an impression of the people involved. Furthermore, you can see what someone has posted, and the way they deal with other in a post.

So I would feel comfortable dealing with members from GTAA after seeing their feedback, and reading some of their postings.

Otherwise, it will be a public place!



> I only know of one case, whereby someone came to the house to buy fish and the guy took the bag of fish and run off. The owner gave chase and was stab on his hands. The person is also a GTA member but will not mention name.
> However, personally I am not keen to sell online, I rather sell it to LFS unless I know the person.


Was this reported to the police? If someone got stab, I think this member's id should be known in the least. Was a negative feedback given? Or is this tale for our entertainment?

I think by not reporting, you're endangering others.


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## 50seven (Feb 14, 2010)

Tip #23:

Openly talk about guns on the forum, and post links to pictures of them. Wear tight-fitting T-shirts that show all your burly muscles, and let the dog answer the door, so when people finally show up they are somewhat intimidated. Greet with a huge smile and wear happy colours; this really throws people off.

All jesting aside... 

#1 if you feel unsafe about the person, then meet in a public place or go with a friend.

#2 try to get their phone number to text or call, which shows that they are not trying to hide 


Our thoughts go out to the Bosma family tonight as they mourn the loss of their loved one, and we pray that justice will be done swiftly to the perpetrators of this heinous act.


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## loonie (Mar 29, 2008)

Quote LTPGuy
Was this reported to the police? If someone got stab, I think this member's id should be known in the least. Was a negative feedback given? Or is this tale for our entertainment.. Unquote

I take offence by your comment which is very uncalled for and a personal attackl. I am only sharing what I know and what I been told. I do not post for entertainment with lies is what you think of me. Your comment is very disappointing. You do not seem to have respect for others. Moreover, if there are many members with your kind of attitude then many will not share their experience or what they know.


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## fishead (Oct 1, 2010)

Just my two cents as a person who has been in this hobby for over 35 years and have had good and bad dealings with people. 

1st = I always let my spidie senses tell me how I feel about the person. 
2nd = I never meet complete strangers at my house unless I trusted friend has vouched for them. 
3rd = If you have children (I don't) I would recommend that you are extremely careful about having people meet at your house or in your house. I understand that selling a 180 gallon set up means your not taking it to the local tim hortons parking lot so in those cases I recommend that your children are not around and you always escort the person in and out. 
4th = Do not leave valuables of any kind in plan view. 

99% of the people you meet are decent, honest, hard working people who enjoy the hobby just like you and should leave you with a very pleasant experience but all it takes is one person to ruin it for you. I have met many great people in my time but have also had fish supplies (brine shrimp eggs) and rare fish stolen from my fish room. So I general sell at meeting, LFS or the local coffee shop. 

Just want everyone to be save and always enjoy the hobby.


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## LTPGuy (Aug 8, 2012)

loonie said:


> Quote LTPGuy
> Was this reported to the police? If someone got stab, I think this member's id should be known in the least. Was a negative feedback given? Or is this tale for our entertainment.. Unquote
> 
> I take offence by your comment which is very uncalled for and a personal attackl. I am only sharing what I know and what I been told. I do not post for entertainment with lies is what you think of me. Your comment is very disappointing. You do not seem to have respect for others. Moreover, if there are many members with your kind of attitude then many will not share their experience or what they know.


With regard to the comment about posting for entertainment, I apology if somehow this is taken as a personal attack and come across as offensive. This was not my intention. All I seek is clarity.

I don't know if I have read your post wrong, but I find that it is both surprising and shocking that you know someone who has stolen and hurt a member of this forum and decide to NOT report this matter to the police, and in protecting this attacker you are endangering others.

Please tell me if I have read your post wrong? I understand that protecting the victim is one thing, but protecting a predator is something different.


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## damsel_den (Oct 31, 2011)

I buy a lot off kijiji and other places....(car and cr stuff, dirt bikes, fish stuff, cellphones)

I like here because of the reviews .. not to say that I'm going to have the same experience but it does make me feel better.

I'm not a paranoid person..BUT I find myself doing this every meet up.

I always get a number.
I always tell hubby where I'm meeting ppl.
I always meet in busy public places or I bring hubby with me.
I have a giant 6D maglite in my car. and some bear spray..
I don't have ppl come to my house or in my house
and I usually don't meet ppl at night
I always back into spot along the side so I can see the person comng. or I park where I get the most view.


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## sig (Dec 13, 2010)

50seven said:


> Tip #23:
> 
> justice will be done swiftly to the perpetrators of this heinous act.


Canada does not have a *justice* system - it has court system with hearth bleeding judges.

few years in the uranium mines will work much better for the criminal than a few years in taxpayer funded paradise (prison)

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## kamal (Apr 21, 2009)

I have had a few people come over to my place for sales/trades. But I agree the feedback people get and give is important in how I approach any deal with members on the forum. As such if people have bad experiences I hope they are logged on the persons itrade account 

I have met some really nice people here and unfortunate as it is the world we live in means we should approach people we dont know/havent met with sensible caution. Be safe my friends


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## bettaforu (Sep 6, 2009)

I have been selling Bettas, Angels, Crays, Shrimps out of my apartment for the last 3+ years. On the whole I have never had a problem or felt uncomfortable admitting strangers into the apartment (sometimes 2 guys together ) and me being all alone here.

Once my Hubby retired he told me straight that was to end  He said you don't know these people, you are by yourself and what if they didn't want to pay you, or got into an argument over something stupid, what would you do?

He didn't like the idea that I was a trusting person and wouldn't have thought that, but he is right. Nowadays you just DON"T know who you are dealing with. 

I should say that now I am only allowed to meet people buying fish/shrimps etc in the lobby of my building where there is always someone there/camera's etc and my Hubby watches from the living room anyway. As for delivering most times I have my Hubby with me now, or I don't go into anyone's house Im not sure of. 

Yes most people (hobbyists on here) are all good souls, but there are people out there with other agendas and we should all make sure that we have some sort of backup when meeting strangers for the first time, maybe bring along a friend or relative, just someone else being there is enough to defuse any sort of shifty ideas people might have.

I doubt there are many fish people on here that would do anything stupid only because they know it would be blasted all over the forums and many of us know each other personally now, so it would be the end of any future business for many people. Its not worth it to pull a fast one on someone just to save a few dollars!


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## altcharacter (Jan 10, 2011)

My problem is every time I invite someone over to do a trade they don't leave for 4-6 hours 

My wife has said there will be no new people in the house and I'm totally agreeing with her on this one.


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## bigfishy (Jun 19, 2009)

The only bad experience I had is with this xxEnzoxx guy http://gtaaquaria.com//forum/showthread.php?t=12465&highlight=AC110. He got another user named Byronicle and he claims that it's his cousin account. He got two brothers and drive a black Ford Escape SUV and lives in Richmond Hill (Woodbine & Hwy 7 area).

He brought the AC500 from me for $35 and later he told me that it was broken and demand a refund. I refused at first and he threaten to bang on my door in the middle of the night.

After a few emails, we decided to meet up in front of a hotel (Lesile and Hwy 7) at midnight.

After we met, we got into a heated arguement. Then his brother shoved me to the back of his SUV and swore that if I didn't give back his money he would just beat the crap out of me. In the end he got back the money, and threaten me that I shouldn't tell anyone or I will be in trouble.


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## tom g (Jul 8, 2009)

*kijjii*

deff with whats just happened it totally awakens us to be safe and to use our discretions when selling things , sometimes i guess with the urgency to sell equipment to purchase new equipment we tend to forget about the dangers .
i believe we should just use our discretions use the persons profile to see what kind of seller they are , and what feedback they have .also when going to places u dont know or areas u dont know pick a commen area or go with more then one person .one of the guys at work was just recently involved in a similar incident but buying a car , when the guys told him they had to go to the back to sign some papers for the used car , another came from behind some garbage bins in a appt complex and held him at gunpoint and took his 6000 dollars , apparantly this crew had done this to a few people already.so if u dont know buyer or seller be aware .and use your gut instincts if it does not feel right dont do it .
bigfishy i dont know the details but something as serious as u typed your first call should have been to the police .
anyways fellow members be safe and use your head what happened to this man was totally disgusting , but something tells me there is more to this story then is being revealed ....??????????


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## J_T (Mar 25, 2011)

altcharacter said:


> My problem is every time I invite someone over to do a trade they don't leave for 4-6 hours
> 
> My wife has said there will be no new people in the house and I'm totally agreeing with her on this one.


Come on, you only told me to leave once!

I didn't notice the time  sorry bout that


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## Ciddian (Mar 15, 2006)

LOL I am guilty for not leaving right away. It was the kids... right....>.>

Hey, if anyone assaults anyone on any forum you should call the police. I have never heard of any of these issues. @[email protected]


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## tom g (Jul 8, 2009)

*issue*

yes i believe these issues should of been dealt with swiftly not a few years later .
again i do not know the circumstances i believe this should of been dealt with in a serious way.


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## loonie (Mar 29, 2008)

I agree with comments from most of the members, most people are decent but there are very few who are not considerate.

As one member told me, he does not permit anyone to tour his tanks, if you want some thing, he will have it ready and you pick up at the door. I fully understand his decision but it was later he told me the reason why and he did invite me to his home but I just took what I wanted and left.The reason was, people had no respect for his home but he did not tell me the details.

All I can say, it takes all kind of people to make a world, we just have to be careful who we deal with.


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## Taipan (Feb 12, 2012)

.....Getting Bear Sprayed and kneed in the groin by damsel_den.....not fun......


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## Kooka (Feb 8, 2011)

loonie said:


> I agree with comments from most of the members, most people are decent but there are very few who are not considerate.
> 
> As one member told me, he does not permit anyone to tour his tanks, if you want some thing, he will have it ready and you pick up at the door. I fully understand his decision but it was later he told me the reason why and he did invite me to his home but I just took what I wanted and left.The reason was, people had no respect for his home but he did not tell me the details.
> 
> All I can say, it takes all kind of people to make a world, we just have to be careful who we deal with.


I carry a machete on me when meeting people for sales, so a warning: no funny business folks 

No, in all seriousness, the majority of people on this forum are very polite and friendly and very rarely have I had any problems. However, some "bad apples" do appear from time to time which is a shame but only inevitable when dealing with such a wide variety of people.

It's always prudent to be extra aware when meeting people from online sites such as kijiji or this one even; public places are always safer than empty parking lots and avoiding inviting people to your home is also another way to be on the safer side. When it comes to the recent events involving the murder of the Ancaster man, I think Tom is right; there is more to the story than is being revealed by the coppers. It had to have been some kind of high-level dispute or argument rather than just a couple of nuts out to steal a pickup.


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## Taipan (Feb 12, 2012)

*As a side note: .......*

Be courteous and if a price has already been negotiated PRIOR to the meeting.....abide by it. There's nothing more awkward than inviting a member to your house and then enduring the awkwardness for both parties in the "haggling" process. I find "haggling" a sport....but NOT if a price has already been agreed upon. Secondly - bring the proper agreed amount of $ instead of having the seller potentially search for change.


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## LTPGuy (Aug 8, 2012)

sig said:


> Canada does not have a *justice* system - it has court system with hearth bleeding judges.
> 
> few years in the uranium mines will work much better for the criminal than a few years in taxpayer funded paradise (prison)


+1 on everything said here.

On the same subject matter, I understand why some choose not to report to the police, or may have a difficult time for fear of retaliation. Decent people have everything to lose where as criminal have nothing.

The police will not act unless there is concrete evident of imminent threat to your safety, or in the case of "loonie" an act of crime that has been committed. A close family friend is a cop so this is not a friend who told a friend.

With that note, my phone has an app that automatically record all call in or out of the phone. There is a hidden camera somewhere on the property in case someone or the neigbour's dog feel they want to try something! I meet people with multiple good reviews!

All of these are easily implemented securities costing no more than a percent of what you've already spent on the hobby!

As Ciddian mentioned, any kind of threat or incidents should be reported to the police. This deter the criminals, protect you and others around you. Make sure you have concrete evident when going to the police.


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## Greg_o (Mar 4, 2010)

loonie said:


> I only know of one case, whereby someone came to the house to buy fish and the guy took the bag of fish and run off. The owner gave chase and was stab on his hands. The person is also a GTA member but will not mention name.
> However, personally I am not keen to sell online, I rather sell it to LFS unless I know the person.


Why would this not be reported to the police? Why would you protect their name?


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## dragon1974 (Aug 27, 2012)

I've only let 2 members on the forum come to my home and my wife is usually understanding. I hope I never have to flex on anyone but I have others to protect and I've gotten some training in the past so I would think I'm OK with someone getting out of hand. Usually, I just meet buyers/sellers closer to the GTA as I live too far anyway so no one wants to come out my way LOL. Probably in the future if I have to meet anyone @ my home I'm going to look the profile over and see if anything stands out as odd then decide from there. But again I would think GTA members are cool and not in any funny business.


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## Shrimp Daddy (Mar 30, 2013)

Kooka said:


> I carry a machete on me when meeting people for sales, so a warning: no funny business folks
> 
> No, in all seriousness, the majority of people on this forum are very polite and friendly and very rarely have I had any problems. However, some "bad apples" do appear from time to time which is a shame but only inevitable when dealing with such a wide variety of people.
> 
> It's always prudent to be extra aware when meeting people from online sites such as kijiji or this one even; public places are always safer than empty parking lots and avoiding inviting people to your home is also another way to be on the safer side. When it comes to the recent events involving the murder of the Ancaster man, I think Tom is right; there is more to the story than is being revealed by the coppers. It had to have been some kind of high-level dispute or argument rather than just a couple of nuts out to steal a pickup.


I had some guy come to my house once to buy my old carpet. He used my washroom and stole the toilet paper and didn't flush. It was gross.


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## Kooka (Feb 8, 2011)

LOL... I'm sorry but that's pretty funny. I'm guessing he left #2 since the toilet paper was gone...


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